Body Language. Every move you make tells a secret This important book adds a new dimension to human understanding. Julius Fast tea. The Definitive Book of Body Language: The Hidden Meaning Behind People's Gestures and Expressions by Barbara Pease, Allan Pease The Definitive Book of. Read The Definitive Book of Body Language PDF by Barbara Pease Bantam Listen to The Definitive Book of Body Language: The Hidden.
- Reader Interactions
- Allan And Barbara Pease The Definitive Book Of BODY LANGUAGE
- The Definitive Book of Body Language: Summary & PDF
- Item Preview
- Allan Pease - Funny Body Language- Full Show 2h21m
He has written numerous books on body language and flies around the world delivering body language trainings. We quickly assess their friendliness, dominance and whether they are a potential sexual partner.
And we do it primarily with nonverbals. Words are used primarily for conveying information and body language for negotiating interpersonal attitudes. Barbara and Allan Pease say that Most people are unaware of the body language signals they send out. Female intuition is particularly evident in women who have raised children, and men in nurturing occupations such artistic types, actors or nursing did almost as good as women. Gay men also scored well. Women are mentally wired to do better than men: MRI scans show that women have 14 to 16 areas of the brain to evaluate nonverbal behavior while men have 4 to 6.
I fully agree with Barbara and Allan Pease when they say cultural differences are many, but the basic signals are the same everywhere.
Sneering is a universal sign because it shows the teeth. The shoulder shrug as well as it raises the shoulder to protect the throat, shows the palms and raises the eyebrow, which is a universal submissive greeting. Kids have more muscle tone in their face and grown up have learned better to mask their lies and body language. A kid for example might fully cover his mouth, a teenager might rub his lips with a finger, and a grown up might have the instinct to cover his mouth but then change in the last second into a nose rub.
But the nose rub would still be born out of the same feeling of covering oneself. A few signs are easier to fake, such for example exposing the palms to appear honest, but pupil dilation, sweating and blushing cannot be consciously faked.
Barbara and Allan Pease say that when we want to be open or honest, we will often hold one or both palms out. When we are hiding something, the tendency is to hide the palms.
Women instead prefer to look busy as they lie. Allan and Barbara Pease say that if we force ourselves to use more open palm gestures our tendency to tell lies diminishes and most people find it difficult to lie with their palms open.
The law of cause and effect also says that if you are not feeling defensive but cross your arms, then you will start feeling defensive.
In a last twist, if you speak with your palms open, your speaking partner will also start feeling more pressure to be honest and truthful. If you ask someone to do something for you with the same voice tone and facial expressions the palm down will sign you are pleading them to do it and the other person will feel no pressure to do and will not feel threatened.
If that person is of equal status, he might resist the palm down and is more likely to comply with a palm up gesture. Just imagine, say Barbara and Allan Pease, if the nazi salute had been with the palm up. People would have laughed at it. Also when couples walk holding hands the dominant partner will walk slightly ahead with his hand on top and the palm facing backward.
The palms closed and finger pointing is one of the most annoying gesture anyone can use.
The palm up was the favourite. The OK gesture will make you authoritative but not aggressive. When people turn your hand down and your palm up they are trying to dominate the handshake. Some women will give men a soft handshake in some social contexts to show submissiveness as a way to highlight their femininity. It should not be used in business contexts though: women displaying high femininity in business meetings are not taken seriously.
Disarming a Power Player Trying to push your palm down, say Barbara and Allan Pease, is typical of the overbearing person. Allan and Barbara Pease do a fantastic job in explaining a few practical move to avoid accepting the submissive position. A simple one is the Double Hander: putting your second hand on top of his, grab his wrist as a last resort or, for another genius technique, look at the pictures here.
There are a few situations when the power player goes well beyond turning your hand down and crushes your bones or start pulling you in to show pure physical dominance. Indeed the Doubler Hander, say Barbara and Allan Pease, is a miniature hug and should only be used when a hug would also be acceptable.
Handshakes of Control: Two-Handed handshakes Barbara and Allan Pease say that the intention of two-handed handshakes is to show sincerity or a depth of feelings. Unless you have a good reason, it can be political or business suicide. You can use the Two-Handed handshake to reclaim some power if you are on the left side of a picture or video and your partner will hence get the upper hand.
Sometimes the person using feels weak and is himself afraid of being dominated. The socket wrencher, such as pulling the arm in, wants the encounter to be on his terms. The muscles that tense our mouth can be consciously activated, but not the ones around the eyes. Lines around the eyes can also appear in intense fake smiles and the cheeks can bunch up making it seem as if the smile were genuine.
But when a smile is genuine, the fleshy part of the eye between the eyebrow and the eyelid moves downward and the ends of the eyebrows dip slightly. The authors say that smiling serves much the same purpose in humans.
Subordinates are more likely to smile in the presence of dominant and superior people, both in friendly and unfriendly situations. Superior people instead smile around subordinate people only in friendly situations.
The superior person will also make subordinates laugh but without laughing himself -or laughing less- as a way to maintain his superiority. Science has indeed proven that t he more you smile, the more positive reactions others will give you.
Allan And Barbara Pease The Definitive Book Of BODY LANGUAGE
Allan Pease also found out that smiling at appropriate times -such as at the beginning of a negotiation- produces positives responses on both sides of the table leading to higher sales ratio and more successful outcomes. These people often talk about general rules to be successful but rarely give their details. The Twisted smile shows opposite emotions on each side of the face. It can only be done deliberately and conveys sarcasm.
With the head turned down and away while looking up with a tight-lipped smile. It looks secretive but in a juvenile and playful way. Laughing is more than 30 times more likely to happen in social situations than when one is alone.
Laughter has less to do with jokes and more to do with relationships. Barbara and Allan Pease say Women smile far more than men in both social and business settings, which can make a woman appear subordinate or weak in the presence of an unsmiling man.
Pictures of unsmiling men were seen as less attractive and decoded as a sign of sadness. Pictures of unsmiling men were decoded as a sign of dominance. Women should smile less with dominant men in business situations and -or mirror the amount of smile of men- and probably more in social and dating scenarios.
Pease says that if men want to be more persuasive with women, they would do good to smile more in all contexts. The authors say women laugh more than men in courtship. The ability to make others laugh is a dominant trait, so the more a man can make a woman laugh, the more she will find him attractive women love dominant men and men love subordinate women.
Very interestingly, Pease says men also become annoyed when one man dominates the joke telling, particularly so when there are women around who are laughing.
The Definitive Book of Body Language: Summary & PDF
The men who are not laughing will think the joke teller is a jerk and not funny either. Hiding behind barriers is an innate behavior of human beings. Folding one or both arms across the chest we form a barrier as an unconscious attempt to block out threats or undesirable circumstances.
As long as someone keeps an arms folded position, a negative attitude will persist. A good idea can be then to give the person something to hold on that will lead them to unfold their arms. For the law of cause and effect, having neutral people crossing arms in front of your chest also give you more negative thoughts about the speaker and you will retain less information. Arms crossing will also send out a message to the people around you though, and that message is likely to be negative.
Reinforced Arms-Crossing Clenched fists with crossed arms show hostility on top of defensiveness. A conciliatory approach is recommended. Arm-Gripping In the Doubled Arm Grip the person tightly grips both his upper arms to further strengthen his barrier. It shows a negative, restrained attitude. Pease says that in court, the claimant maybe using a fist clenched arms crossed while the defendant may have adopted the double arm grip position. A general manager greeting new employees, for example, will not cross his hands and will either keep his hands to his side, behind his back superiority or in his pockets noninvolvement.
If the GM know met a young up and coming superior type, the younger gun might cross his arm but keep his thumbs sticking out and pointing up.
The thumbs up show a positive and self-confident attitude. Also very interestingly, the authors say that defensive and submissive will be shown in symmetrical positions, while defensive and dominant will take an asymmetrical pose.
Thumbs Up If the Thumbs-Up-Arms-Crossed appears towards the end of a presentation, chances are you can go ahead and ask for the order.
Allan Pease - Funny Body Language- Full Show 2h21m
Hugging Ourselves Barbara and Allan Pease say we hug ourselves when are stressed or we find ourselves in tense situations. Of course, our self hugs are more masked. For example, one arm might reach out to the other upper arm -mostly used by women- and recreating the feeling of how their mothers held them. But their nervousness will still often leak.
For example, they might reach out with an arm to the bag on the other side, or fix their watches or bracelet, or shirt cuffs.
Women can often clasp on their purses. They can also hold it to the side, thus crossing their arm in front of their body, or hold it to the side, thus opening up. Arms and Armrest Planting your elbows on the armrest is a position of power. Letting your arms fall on the inside of the chair is the position that humble, defeated individuals will take.
Pease said that worked well because the elbow is a safe area to touch, second because touching a stranger is not considered normal so it created a powerful impression and third, the most important of all, a touch creates a momentary bond between two people.
Touching above or below the elbow did not produce the same positive effects, and touching for more than 3 seconds also had a negative response. Looking at conversation outside cafes indeed showed touches an hour in Rome, in Paris, 25 in Sindey, 4 in NY and 0 in London. A famous experiment with a librarian slightly brushing the hand while issuing a book also had powerful effects, with the borrowers being touched responding more favorably to all the question and more likely to recall the name of the librarian.
Read also: 4 ways men touch women wrong. I fully agree with Barbara and Allan Pease when they say the world is becoming more and more similar and the basics are the same almost everywhere. Pictures of happiness, anger, fear, sadness, disgust, and surprise in 21 different cultures registered mostly the same responses everywhere.